Felix Gonzalez-Torres

In New York

Beautiful Words

It's true that all the men you knew were dealers
who said they were through with dealing
Every time you gave them shelter
I know that kind of man
It's hard to hold the hand of anyone
who is reaching for the sky just to surrender
who is reaching for the sky just to surrender.

And then sweeping up the jokers that he left behind
you find he did not leave you very much not even laughter
Like any dealer he was watching for the card
that is so high and wild
he'll never need to deal another
He was just some Joseph looking for a manger
He was just some Joseph looking for a manger.

And then leaning on your window sill
he'll say one day you caused his will
to weaken with your love and warmth and shelter
And then taking from his wallet
an old schedule of trains, he'll say
I told you when I came I was a stranger
I told you when I came I was a stranger.

But now another stranger seems
to want you to ignore his dreams
as though they were the burden of some other
O you've seen that man before
his golden arm dispatching cards
but now it's rusted from the elbows to the finger
And he wants to trade the game he plays for shelter
Yes he wants to trade the game he knows for shelter.

Ah you hate to watch another tired man
lay down his hand
like he was giving up the holy game of poker
And while he talks his dreams to sleep
you notice there's a highway
that is curling up like smoke above his shoulder
and suddenly you feel a littlt older

You tell him to come in sit down
but something makes you turn around
The door is open you can't close your shelter
You try the handle of the road
It opens do not be afraid
It's you my love, you who are the stranger
It's you my love, you who are the stranger.

Well, I've been waiting, I was sure
we'd meet between the trains we're waiting for
I think it's time to board another
Please understand, I never had a secret chart
to get me to the heart of this
or any other matter
When he talks like this
you don't know what he's after
When he speaks like this,
you don't know what he's after.

Let's meet tomorrow if you choose
upon the shore, beneath the bridge
that they are building on some endless river
Then he leaves the platform
for the sleeping car that's warm
You realize, he's only advertising one more shelter
And it comes to you, he never was a stranger
And you say ok the bridge or someplace later.


And leaning on your window sill ...

I told you when I came I was a stranger.

Videos

I'm writing a proposal for a video project and I'm trying write about my influences. Here are some videos that I think have inspired my video piece. In my art history class my teacher mentioned the writings of Pierre Bourdieu who proposed that art is a social product and is not innately valuable. I agree that when I make art I am producing something inspired by a synthesis of things I've been exposed to. I will post my video piece later but first I am posting some of the things that I suspect inspired it.

Over the Christmas holidays, I was listening to Fleet Foxes a lot and practicing singing and whistling to this song. One day my mom, sister and I took our neighbour's dog for a walk along the train tracks. It was snowy and I felt like this song fit that moment.



I saw "The Spirit of the Beehive" last year. It's a beautiful movie with quiet, long scenes.



My friend Jesse sent this documentary to my roommate and we were both amazed and scared by it. This was my favourite scene. Gaahl (from the Norwegian Black Metal band, Gorgoroth) takes the film crew up a mountain to see his grandparent's abandoned shack. I like the way it's filmed because you can feel quiet of the mountain.

Drawings

Egon Schiele

Toulouse-Lautrec

David Hockney

Geoffrey Oryema

I'm listening to this song today.

The Leather King

The Selby photographs cool peoples' houses and interviews them. By looking at his photos you get a sense of their tastes and lifestyle. He recently started making short films that document people's lives and jobs. This one is about a man who lives in New York and imports leather. I really like the style of his films. They are shot with a really beautiful, HD camera and they capture the light of a place so that it feels both romantic and real. This film is both casual and intimate. You get to wake up with The Leather King and his daughter and see them get ready for their day.

Andy Goldsworthy

Andy Goldsworthy's art-making seems integrated into his lifestyle. It's a meditation.

Lauren Berkowitz

Some sculptures:

 made of onion bags

 lavender

and plastic bags

    http://www.laurenberkowitz.com.au/

Word.

Since starting university in the Fall, I feel like I've become a different person. My first semester challenged me in a way that I didn't expect it to. I started developing anxiety because I was focussed on achieving perfection in all areas of my life. I now realize that being calm is more important to me than being productive. I started questioning why I do the things I do. Why am I studying art? Is being good at something enough of a reason to study it? I am now discovering what is really important to me. In the past I mostly did what other people expected of me. Going to university wasn't something that I decided to do for myself but something that I thought I was supposed to do. But now, I'm really happy that I'm here and I know why I'm here. I realized that I need to say "no" sometimes and that you can't actually do everything. You have to choose what you want to do. It's scary though. Living according to yourself instead of what other people think of you takes strength. One of the things that has guided me through this "path of self discovery" is a book. I heard about the book a few years ago on Oprah but I dismissed it until my sister recommended it to me. I started reading "The Power of Now" by Eckhart Tolle and I would recommend this book to everybody. It is about presence, acceptance of the moment and being. This book is helping me to be more calm and confident in myself. It also helped me recognize my need for alone time. This book has changed the way I view the world. My new outlook affects me everyday. I feel that the teachings in this book will be a big influence on my art in the new year because it has affected me so much. If my art doesn't speak directly about the contents of the book, I feel that my process will be influenced by it. I feel like I've found a new creativity within the stillness that I am cultivating.